The Cars You’ll Want When Driving In A Zombie Apocalypse
By Aaron Crowe
When the zombie apocalypse comes — and it will — you’ll want the biggest, fastest and sturdiest vehicle to escape from the man-eating undead.
If you can get to your car safely, and have the presence of mind to remember the keys, supplies and have it gassed up ahead of time, then you should have a chance of getting away. But if your car tends to break down or is too slow, you may be out of luck.
With help from several zombie enthusiasts, we’ve compiled a list of cars worth considering buying now if you don’t already have one. They should help you survive the zombie apocalypse, if not at least get you out of harm’s way.
Range Rover. This SUV might be a cliche, but for a reason, says Kim Laudati, who owns a skin care business. The Range Rover “definitely can handle plowing through and over zombies plus outrunning them, hightail it cross country or on the pavement, climb over rubble, big enough to sleep in, sturdy enough for a mounted machine gun, and can also carry extra gas for flamethrowers,” she says.
Mercedes-Benz G63 AMG 6X6. This concept car is essentially a stretched out G63 AMG, but with six tires. The 6X6 makes 544 horsepower and generates 560 lb-ft of torque. The tire pressure can be adjusted with a built-in air compressor, a helpful benefit when driving on different terrains or over bodies. The vehicle also looks good.
“If there’s one thing we know about zombies, it’s that you need to look awesome in order to fight them effectively,” says Matt Yasgar, who works in marketing at RearViewSafety.com.
Since most people don’t have access to a military-grade vehicle, this car will help the masses escape zombies. It can carry up to 1,433 pounds, enough cargo area to hold plenty of supplies. It has an 18.1-inch ground clearance and can ford water 39.3 inches deep. It gets 13 mpg and can hold 42 gallons of fuel.
“During a zombie attack, you are going to want a car that can go anywhere, withstand some bumps into zombies and carry you, other survivors, and essential supplies,” Yasgar says.
“In addition to looking like it stepped right out of any zombie movie or video game, the G63’s design can easily handle all of these and then some,” he says. “With tons of space in the cabin and four seats that look like they’re straight out of a pop star’s private jet, you will have plenty of room to camp out and wait for the whole zombie thing to blow over.”
Ford F-350. This truck has a heavy duty front end replacement to bash in the heads of zombies, and heavy duty over-sized tires to run them over with, recommends Barbara Bergin, an orthopedic surgeon in Austin, Texas.
“This behemoth has got plenty of power to spare, so after you’ve crushed the skulls of as many zombies as humanly possible, you can get away from the rest of them, and from humans too,” Bergin says.
Subaru Outback. This all-wheel drive car is heavy, meaning its built solid and doesn’t feel like being in a tin can, says Mizar Turdiu, who writes about sustainable living. Turdiu has owned her Subaru for 12 years, finding it spacious enough to load with two twin beds and skis on the roof rack, among her two children, their friends and a dog.
The Outback can handle snow and ice in the winter, slick oil-stained roads after a rain in the summer, and can cruise over the sand without a problem, she says.
Marauder. This 10-ton military vehicle is one of the few military vehicles that can be sold to civilians. For about $300,000, you’ll get an agile mine-protected armored vehicle that can handle a mine under the hull or a blast under a wheel. As Will Jamieson, who works at Supreme Apps, points out, if the Marauder can survive a bomb, it can survive a zombie invasion. A video from the TV show “Top Gear” points out its features.
Recreational vehicle. If you just want something that can get you out of town that you can survive in, an RV is relatively durable, self-contained, and can easily pull a trailer or smaller vehicle that has more maneuverability, says Kevin Perkins, director of a zombie short film, “My Boring Zombie Apocalypse,” that he hopes to finish this summer.
RVs have a great vantage point on the roof to ward off surprise attacks. To stock an RV, Perkins suggests canned everything, bottled water, weapons, and tools and supplies to clean and filter water.
As any zombie hunter knows, it’s not always the zombies that kill you, but not having enough clean water and dying of thirst.
Aaron Crowe is a journalist who covers the auto industry for CheapCarInsurance.net.